Lesson Two: Relating with Money- Couples

This step is very difficult for many couples.  There are challenges when you have to share the decision making with another person.  Pooling our money and making joint decisions about our money now and for our future has given John and me a lot of peace of mind.  I believe that in the case of combining money 1+1= more than 2.  There is an accountability about where you spend your money when you know you are sharing it with someone else.  I think twice before spending money on things that I haven't had John's input in buying.  He's not a control freak at all.  In fact, he hardly ever tells me I can't buy something-- mainly because that accountability step has reduced my impulse to buy things I don't need.  There has to be trust with the other person when you share everything.  That trust is developed and built by communicating and respect.  Maybe you think you want to buy something now that the other person is not opposed to you having, but would like for you to wait to buy at a later date. If you both communicate respectfully about your reasons, there will be more peace in that decision.

Usually there is one person who likes to do the budget and the other person who doesn't.  Maybe the free spirit has no concept of how much your family is bringing in and the operating costs of running the household.  Financial Guru Gail Vaz Oxlade recently wrote an article called Managing Money Together and suggests getting a deck of cards and putting dollar symbols on them and asking the person who is reluctant to help with the budget to use the cards to build the budget.  Another way to get the other person to participate is to have him or her pay the bills for one month.  It's important that both people communicate about the family's needs and wants so that they are a team.  Even if one person still does the budget most months, the other person needs to have an understanding of where the money is going.

I do believe that each person in the marriage should have some money to spend on whatever they want.  Setting an amount of money each week to be taken out gives the other person freedom while still maintaining a budget.